Trying to move on

We’ve gotten several emails over the last few days/weeks asking how we have been doing, sending well wishes and telling us that hopefully the healing process has begun. I’d like to say that it has begun but there are always set backs. Mostly these come in the form of some kind of contact from Mikes wife. Yes his wife. Though many people know how upset Mike was the last 6 months to a year because of the problems with Rebecca, I dont think many people knew that they were actually going to court for their divorce the Monday that Mike died. They were due in court at 9am and he passed away just hours earlier, making Rebecca a widow and not a divorcee. She didn’t want to be married to him anymore and I think he finally felt the same way, but it definitely took some time for him to feel that way. That and some not very nice photos of Rebecca tonguing some guy while still legally married to him. When Mike died and we got the call about it happening we (beebe, his mom, dad and I) went to the coroners office. I never actually went inside, I waited in the car. Bee’s mom didn’t want to go inside either but she did with Beebe. Since Rebecca and Mike were not legally divorced Rebecca had to give permission for Xuan to collect Mikes personal belongings found on his body. Rebecca did this, while on speaker phone with the coroner, the receptionist as witness, Beebe and his mom. We later saw Rebecca at the Lake Lawn. Again, since they were still legally married she needed to come and sign paperwork releasing Mikes body to our family so we could plan his funeral service. It does not matter that she had filed for divorce, that they were going to court that morning for the divorce, since no divorce papers had been signed she was still his wife. Thankfully she signed the papers without incident. She didn’t ask about what the funeral service plans were, she didn’t offer to help pay for her husbands funeral. While there we had the envelope containing the items from the coroner. When I asked if she wanted anything she said no. Our family cremated Michael on Friday June 5 and on June 8 Rebecca was already asking to come and get things from Mikes house. So Ashley and I went to let her in. I had heard from Beebe that Rebecca had called the coroner asking about Mikes belongings that were collected so I asked her about that. I asked if she wanted any of those things. It really did not matter to our family, she could have them. The only thing we wanted to keep were a set of keys to Xuan’s salon and a cross that wasn’t even Michaels. It was Beebe’s. Beebe only stopped wearing it after his mom bought him a new cross from Tiffanys and he had the other one hanging on his rearview mirror in his car. One night when he and Mike were working together Mike asked to wear it. I explained this to Rebecca, and her two friends helping her to move and she said she didn’t want anything. She blew the whole thing off. I reminded her about sending an email to the coroner and she said she would. So just as we are having a nice time in CA, our most recent trip to visit family and shoot my godparents sons wedding, we get a call from the coroner. Fred, Rebecca’s dad is now calling for the items. It just makes us sick. Already twice we offered to give it all to her and she declined. Why now, 2 months after he has died is she asking for these things? And unfortunately Beebe’s mom burned everything. She had this shrine set up in the house for Mike. She, Ashley, Beebe or Set would burn incense every day for Michael. They also made him small plates of food at breakfast, lunch and dinner time. It is their culture and tradition to do so. After 49 days she burned all the cards, letters that were sent and Mikes belongings as a way to let his spirit know it was time to leave. Everyone felt a little better after this ceremony and felt that Mike was in a better place. Well we all felt better until we get this call from the coroner. I actually talked to Fred myself because the coroner asked me to call him. He said Rebecca was told there was nothing collect and that it seemed things were being hidden from her. I couldn’t believe it, I still cant. What could we hide? The coroner has a list of inventory of things collected. We can’t hide anything, its all written right there. Come to find out it seems she only wants the cross, which is weird because it belongs to Beebe. Mike had probably only been wearing it a few days. And to be honest, Bee really doesn’t care all that much about that cross. He cares more that Rebecca would ask for something that she knows was not Mikes. That she knows Ashley, Mikes sister, has been wearing it because she is still devastated by the loss of her brother. We want to be able to grieve. We want to be able move on and start healing. But Mike and Rebecca did not have a good relationship at the end. They were getting divorced, it just seems cruel that she would contact our family over something like this and make us all upset. Maybe she has her reasons, I really don’t know. We let her into Mikes house to take whatever she wanted and she practically cleaned the place out. And now she wants something that didn’t even belong to Mike? Something about it almost seems like its on purpose. We will give her the cross and then I guess request it back since it was not Mikes, therefore it is not Rebeccas. We have proof of purchase. But its like how far do we take this? Is it worth it?